Sometimes it’s so hard to be good. Despite my best efforts and intentions, I easily fall short of who I am meant to be. I think in many ways this is true for all of us. And because of it, it makes sense why our world is such a train wreck. Everyone is running on empty, and even though we try to be more patient, more tolerant, more pleasant, more forgiving, more easy-going, more (you fill in the blank), we can’t seem to be consistent with any of it. It’s taken me a very long time to accept that perfection—the idea of being consistently good, and never wavering—is not possible. But what’s been hardest to wrap my head around is that perfection was never expected. In fact, it’s in acknowledging our weaknesses, that we find our strength. I never could grasp what that meant. Now I get it.
I have spent much of my life using my own strength and will to get by and succeed. It has been exhausting. But, I believed that the only one I could count on was myself. And then some very traumatic and life changing events happened concerning my children, and my own strength was not enough to get me through it. I cried out to God like never before. I pleaded. I begged. I prayed day and night for help. But what made these prayers different was that I prayed that I was responding to the situation in the right way, with the right heart. I couldn’t rely on myself this time—too much was at risk. For me to get through this experience in a way that did not result in harm to my children would require strength, guidance, and wisdom beyond me and my own abilities. I was quite literally on a very dark path. I wasn’t sure if I was making the right choices a lot of the time. Every choice I made was like taking a step in total darkness. And with each step, I was never sure I would find solid footing. This was where trust came in. I had to believe. I had to trust God to guide my steps and guide my path. I had to believe He would make my path straight even if I couldn’t see it. I asked Him to ensure my intentions were good and that I acted in ways that aligned with His ways.
I was beyond weak.
I had to walk blindly and pray for constant direction. I took baby steps some days, and huge leaps of faith on others. Yet, because I reached out and cried for help, and sought His guidance the entire time, I was made strong.
I have been in this fight for my children for over seven years now. The past three have been by far the hardest. But the blessings gained far exceed any hardships. I have found trust in God like never before. I can say without doubt, He answers prayers. There are some conditions, however.
There were instances when I had to make split decisions. I didn’t have the luxury of time to wait for an answer. I discovered that that’s okay. I prayed as I was making the decision that if it was the wrong one for whatever reason, that He’d make it work out for the highest good. He always did. Things didn’t always play out the way I expected them to, but things always worked out. And, even when it all appeared to be stacked against me—when it seemed likely the “enemy” was going to win—the tide would turn.
God comes through like never before when you’re hanging off the ledge.
I have learned to have patience on an entirely different level because I learned to trust in His timing. Sometimes the answer you want takes a long time to come to fruition. Endure it. God’s timing is perfect.
I have been in this fight for my children for over seven years.
Today it finally ends.
My husband officially adopted my two youngest children today. Our fight is finally over. No more harm can come to them. They can breathe easy now without any fear. They can finally relax.
When we’re weak, we’re made strong, because that’s when God steps in to overcome!
Glory B's unifies all of what I love most—the earth and its natural elements like stone and wood; the creative arts, whether through the written word, or photography, or paint; and helping others to make the world a better place.