Ever find yourself stuck and unable to take a step forward after a loss or disappointment? The following five step process can help you shift from the paralysis caused by fear or self-doubt, toward acceptance and taking forward action.
You’ve likely heard of the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Most experience the grief process after a significant loss such as a death. However, any loss can cause grief. Take a job loss for example, or a significant life change like retirement. Regardless of the cause of the grief, the process can be debilitating and paralyzing. Fear and self-doubt can creep in and keep you from moving forward in your life. In order to move through the negative feelings of loss and despair, and reconnect to your creativity and intuition, you must move from the reptilian brain response, through the emotional response, and then on to a higher, more intuitive response as quickly as possible. Tapping into your intuition and inner guidance allows you to move beyond the pain and disappointment toward joy and the realm of infinite opportunities and possibilities.
Begin by imagining that you are stepping onto a five-step ladder. Each step leads you away from the loss, despair, and disappointment toward the higher experiences of joy and acceptance.
Close your eyes and take the first step, saying either to yourself or out loud:
Step 1. “Why me?” This is the instinctive fight or flight response. Then take two deep breaths and mentally step up, with the loss/disappointment in mind, to:
Step 2. “How could this happen?” Again take two deep breaths. This step moves you past your emotional victim response.
Step 3. Next, move up to the third step and say: “There must be a reason!” Then take two deep breaths. This step takes you beyond the negative energy that accompanies victim thinking or being consumed by anger.
Step 4. Continuing, move up to step 4 and say: “How can I help myself?” Then take two deep breaths. This step walks you out of denial and into acceptance and a detached response. It also allows you to nurture, comfort, and heal yourself.
Step 5. Continuing, move up to the top step and say: “What can I learn from this experience?” Then take two deep breaths. This step walks you out of the pain and opens you up to growth, expansion, and opportunity. There is freedom and joy in finding acceptance. This final step allows full acceptance of the situation and now gives you access to a higher, more positive response.
It may take time for these five steps to stick. However, if you practice them—moving more and more quickly through them each time you face an upset—the more quickly you will connect to your intuitive self, beyond the pain, and toward acceptance and joy.
Glory B's unifies all of what I love most—the earth and its natural elements like stone and wood; the creative arts, whether through the written word, or photography, or paint; and helping others to make the world a better place.